Raising Arceus for Humans
by Sophia Angelia
Summary: Nothing in my life could ever prepare me for this. I'm just glad I don't have any invasive neighbors, because raising the Alpha Pokémon from an egg will be hard enough as it is!
1. Prologue

"_Because it has to be so lonely_

_To be the only one who's holy."_

_-Paramore, "Playing God"_

* * *

I sat in a tree top, watching a meteor shower. I had just barely caught the online notification that there would be one tonight. Out here, in the middle of a forest, the sky was clear and I had a brilliant view of the sky and stars every night. But tonight, during the meteor shower, it looked as if the sky was raining a silver light from deep space. I had my best camera with me, taking great pictures of the meteor shower and using the rare occurrence to rake in dough.

See, when you're fifteen and live alone in an energy efficient and self sufficient cabin the middle woods, with only the internet and your obsession of the Pokémon games to keep you company, the best way to make money online is to sell extremely good pictures of wilderness. To do this, I had two options: learn to use Photoshop, or get good with a camera quickly. I chose the second option.

Anyways, as I was taking advantage of this great opportunity, I noticed that one of the meteors was brighter, bigger, and moving faster than the others. Snapping a quick picture of it, I looked back on the screen of the camera to admire my amazing look. However, taking a closer look at the meteor, I realized that it looked oddly shaped: like if someone tried to combine the world with and egg. Looking back up at the egg meteor, it soon occurred to me that it _wasn't_ burning up in the atmosphere. If anything, it was headed _directly towards me_!

Grabbing my camera and its case, I quickly scrambled down the tree I had been sitting in to take pictures. Dashing up the short, well-worn path I took every night to stargaze, I crossed the river over a fallen log, and followed the riverbed upstream for a short while to my house.

My house was a simple, one room log cabin; it had a watermill that was constantly turning at high speeds because of its placement in the river rapids. The mill served to make electricity for my home and internet, and on the other side of the small cabin was a stone chimney that was my heater in the winter and kitchen, though it remained inactive during the hot summers, like right now. I had built the house with my parents, on the edge of a small meadow clearing in the middle of the woods and almost up against the river. We had also built the house on stilts, in the case of the river flooding. That was my dad's idea.

It hurts now, thinking about him, or thinking about either of my parents, for that matter. My mom had died of a severe sickness when I was young, and my dad died a few years ago, protecting me from one of the many bears that roam this part of the woods. I miss them both dearly.

But now was not the time for a walk down memory lane, especially with the meteor right on my heels. I had only made it halfway to my house when the meteor hit the ground, sending up dirt and uprooted grass flying everywhere. The impact rattled everything, nearly sending me flying into the river. The boom that occurred from the impact nearly deafened me, and I lay there on the riverbank, covered in dirt, waiting for the ringing in my ears to stop.

After a few minutes, the ringing subsided until I could ignore it, and I pushed myself to my feet. Brushing off the dirt, I turned and looked at the small crater the space object had created in the clearing. Ignoring that for a moment, I continued into my house and set my damaged camera and its case on the writing table that my dad had left for me. I remember him carving out of a tree. I shook my head, chasing the memory from my mind. Like I had said to myself earlier, now wasn't the time for a stroll down memory lane.

Going back outside, I went over and into the crater and looked at the object. Surprisingly, it did bear great resemblance to a globe. It was, however, slightly egg-shaped and about the size of a Pokémon egg. I racked my brain for information on what this thing could be, but nothing that I've read about online told me what this was.

As I stood there, trying to figure out what the thing was, it started glowing. I had once found a flat rock along the riverbed that looked exactly like a miniature Plate, so I had strung it on a leather bracelet and kept it on me at all times. It acted like my good luck charm, and I guess it was in a way. Whenever I was in trouble, I would rub the mini Plate between my thumb and index finger, it would start glowing, and things would get better.

Now, what I thought was a little stone with a coincidental shape, was glowing and slowly pulling my right hand (as I always wore the bracelet on my right hand) towards the glowing white egg. The closer it got, the stronger the pull was. The next thing I knew, I found myself kneeling by the egg with my palm pressed firmly against the tough, warm shell. I felt something brush and bump against my hand from inside, and I would have fallen backward in surprise if my hand hadn't been glued to the egg via a leather bracelet.

The mini Plate slipped off my bracelet and went into the egg, and the egg started glowing brighter, obviously hatching. At this point, I was too stunned to move a muscle. I squeezed my eyes shut as the light became too bright to look at.

* * *

No amount of wilderness survival skill or internet knowledge could ever prepare me for the greatest event in my entire life.

* * *

**A/N: Well, that ends the Prologue! I know; short, lacking dialogue and action, and way too much description. I'm sorry, but I wanted to try my hand at leaving it on a cliffhanger. I don't think I did a good job… I promise the plot line picks up in the next chapter, so keep reading please!**

**The title of this story was supposed to reflect the ****For Dummies**** books (ex: Stock Markets For Dummies, Writing Fiction For Dummies, etc, etc…), but it's not really noticeable. **

**READ ON!**

**-SA ;P**


	2. It's Never Easy

"_A loaded God complex,_

_Cock it and pull it!"_

_-Fall Out Boy, "Sugar, we're going down"_

* * *

The glowing subsided to the point where I could open my eyes, and what I found pressed against my hand wasn't the egg anymore. There were no signs of eggshell, but what had been contained in the egg had hatched out. It was an Arceus, the top of its head pressed against the palm of my hand. But the Pokémon wasn't the right size. Instead of hatching from a small Pokémon egg into the huge thing its described to be in the anime, Arceus was really only the size of a medium dog, just barely small enough to fit in a Pokémon egg.

Arceus backed up a few steps and sized me up. It then spoke a greeting through a sort of telepathy that seemed to convey images and feelings more than words, but I could still translate it somehow. "Greetings, human!" It said a little too enthusiastically. "Thank you for hatching me. I'm Arceus. What's your name?" I've seen the movie, and I must say right here that Arceus sounded a _lot_ younger than it did in the movie. Maybe it's because it just hatched, but Arceus sounded like a really smart seven year old boy.

"I guess you don't start out as a ten foot six, seven hundred pound llama-goat-in-a-wheel Pokémon, then." I suppressed a chuckle, knowing that even as a level one, Arceus could do some damage to me. "My name's Sophia. Are your… um, parents around?" I ask, standing up.

"I don't have any parents." Arceus says rather meekly.

I mentally scold myself. _Stupid! If Arceus is the first Pokémon in existence, then it _obviously_ doesn't have parents!_

Arceus looks around like it's lost, which it probably is. This isn't the Pokémon world, after all. It therefore can't get to the Hall of Origin. "You wouldn't happen to know where my Plates are, would you. I can't seem to draw them to me."

I instantly look to my leather bracelet, but remember I used that Plate to hatch Arceus, so it already has that one. "I had the Mind Plate, but I gave it to you so you could hatch. I guess that's what also allowing you to talk to me." I was suddenly struck by an idea. "Hey, why don't you go fly around and find them?"

Arceus just looked at me with a sour face, and trotted off into the woods. For the first time, I realized that I hadn't been acting very nicely to Arceus. It also just occurred to me that it couldn't fly because it didn't have the Sky Plate. I felt bad and wanted to apologize, but by then Arceus was already gone. Of course, I never meant to insult, it's just my personality that makes me sound mean. I admit that I'm obsessed with Arceus, and would put posters of it all over my house if I had any. So it just broke my heart to watch it leave after I had insulted it so much.

Guilt overcame common sense, and I went into the woods after Arceus, but not before grabbing my father's hunting gun. The part of the woods that Arceus went into, away from the river, had no paths whatsoever. Not only was it easy to get lost out here, but there were many dangerous wild animals. I suddenly was struck with an image of Arceus cornered by a pack of wolves. No matter what Pokémon, being at level one would be a serious disadvantage against experienced pack animals, especially if they were protecting their pups. An even worse scenario popped into my head: Arceus cornered against an enraged mother grizzly. I pushed away that thought as my own maternal instincts kicked in and I broke into a sprint, searching for some clue that might tell me where Arceus went off to.

* * *

An hour after I started, I found a trail of needle-like hoof prints, just barely noticeable. There were drops of blood in the dirt as well, and white turfs of fine fur caught on barbs and other spiky foliage. I followed this trail, eventually rounding a large thicket. Stopping at the edge of a small clearing, I saw the scene that I had hoped would only exist in my imagination. A bear had pushed Arceus up against a large tree. The bear had risen up on its hind legs, ready to smash its forepaws down for a finishing blow. Arceus cowered at the base of the tree; its eyes shut tight, waiting for death to come. Arceus was also covered in blood, with several deep wounds around where the segmented wheel protruded from its abdomen and around the neck area.

Reacting on instinct and muscle memory alone, I aimed and shot the gun in my hands. Time seemed to slow down, and it was almost as if I could see the bullet traveling through the air. When the bullet hit its mark, time resumed to normal and the bear fell backwards, dead.

Father had taught me how to hunt with a gun during one particular winter, when a snow storm had closed off the only trail to the only town nearby, thus cutting off our access to its grocery store. During those six hard months, I had become an exceptionally good hunter, though I despised it with all my being. But it was a simple choice, really: hunt or die. I only keep the gun now in case of a hard winter like that, or emergencies. Either way, it was always loaded. Tonight, I'm glad I kept that old gun.

I approached the bear carefully, prodding it with the barrel of the gun once or twice, and then bending down to check for a pulse. Concluding that it was actually dead, I dropped the gun and ran over to Arceus, overjoyed that it was more or less alive. I began tearing off pieces of my shirt to stop the bleeding from its wounds. Arceus winced when I applied pressure, and then looked up at me wearily. "You saved me…" it whimpered, almost expecting me to beat the poor thing up.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't mean to harm you." I apologized, feeling about ready to cry from relief and exhaustion. My apology was interrupted by a cry from nearby. Turning around, I saw a small bear cub poke its head out from the bushes. It then ran over to the dead bear, dropping what appeared to be another mini Plate it had been holding in its mouth so it could nudge the larger one with its nose. With a pang of guilt, I realized I had just shot and killed the cub's mother.

That's where I lost it. I broke down crying, unable to control this flow of guilt, rage, and tension that had been building up inside ever sense I first spotted the egg hurtling down from the sky. Because of me, this cub now has to experience the same thing I did when I lost my mother to sickness. Because of me, the cub will die because it doesn't have any other parent that would teach it how to live. This was the reason I hate hunting: you never know what kind of life the animal led before you came along and shot it. It might have been a mother, or a father, a leader or a follower, another animal's dear sister or brother. And although I'm not vegan of vegetarian, I'm sure animals on farms have even tighter connections to the other animals. I could almost feel their emotions through the beef I purchase in the store, though it's unnoticeable after cooking.

Arceus, though it was shaking from exhaustion, got up and walked over to the cub, collecting the Plate. Then, turning to the mother, it placed a hoof on her side, Arceus' wheel glowing a golden color. After a few seconds, the bullet wound on the mother closed up, and she rolled over onto her paws. She looked at Arceus, and an unspoken conversation passed between the two. She then lumbered off into the woods, her cub following behind her.

As I watched this miracle happen, my tears started to dry up until, by the end, I only had a slight sniffle. After the bears had left, Arceus turned to smile at me (as best as it could, lacking a mouth and all) and collapsed from exhaustion. I got up, and retrieved the gun, slinging it over my shoulder by the strap. I then picked up the unconscious Alpha Pokémon and started to make my way home.

* * *

**A/N: Well, that ends Chapter One! I hope you liked it! I promise the humor will pick up more in the next chapter, but I had to give Sophia a reasion to take in Arceus. **

**I tried to add more dialogue, but I still think I'm missing something here…**

**I'll be accepting two OC's, the first two that apply, and maybe more later. They'll be added into the next chapter. Also, I will not be posting the next chapter until I get two OC applications. PM me or send it in as a review. I need the name of the OC (doesn't need to be a full name), the species (if human, put human, duh), a physical description, a personality description, a brief history, and one character quirk.**

**Other than that,**

**READ ON!**

**-SA ;P**


	3. AN Will be made into Chap 3 soon!

**A/N: Wow! I've got, like, four OC's from three different people!**

…

**I was kind of expecting more, but that's okay, I guess…**

**Sense there's only three, I'm going to go back on my word and use everyone's OC. Big thanks to Dialga's Song of Time, Caged Nightingale, and Voltimere for your awesome OC's! They will all be appearing in the next chapter! Please PM me if you want your character to do something specific. I'm open for suggestions.**


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